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Word that the Nationals broke up with their long-term democracy fuck-buddy, the Liberal Party, has spread across the Parliament dating scene like an STD in the Prayer-Room.
With the Coalition’s divorce leaving many poly-ticians suddenly single, the opportunity has opened for other players to make their move, including Australia’s serial DM-slider Harry Fong.
Upon learning the Nats were on the market for a rebound casual situationship, Fong immediately pulled out his second phone and sent a mass text to all newly-available members.
“U up?” Fong asked. “I’ve got a Trumpet here that needs to be blown.”
In addition to the salacious messages, Fong also liked the Instagram Story posts of every Nationals member — which has been clinically proven to attract a mate 1/10000 times.
Unfortunately for Fong, the message was accidentally sent to every voter in Australia. Old habits die hard.