In an inspiring story that highlights just how drastically aging can change a person, 30-year-old Sarah Marks has informed her friends she would actually be really excited to receive an edible arrangement if the spirit ever moved them to gift one to her.
Wow! How the years fly by!
“When I was a kid, an edible arrangement was considered the lowliest of gifts,” Sarah told reporters gathered at the scene, where she was making plans for her upcoming birthday. “We scoffed at the idea of melons cut into fun shapes and strawberries presented as flowers in a bouquet. We guffawed in the face of beauty. How wrong we were.”
Sources confirm there was a dominant cultural narrative in the early 2000s and 2010s that an edible arrangement was the type of gift that a distant lover would send, proving they did not really know you.
“In every movie, a pretty girl would get an edible arrangement from her stupid boyfriend, and we would laugh and laugh,” Sarah continued. “What did we find so funny? A nice arrangement of sustenance? A thoughtful procurement of delicious food? I still can’t wrap my head around it.”
Now, Sarah says she would be delighted to receive a gift she could eat.
“When I was finally able to look past the cultural taboo, I realized an edible arrangement sounds like it rocks,” she continued. “Someone shows up at my door with a bunch of stuff I can immediately play with and eat? That sounds like a best-case scenario to me!”
In addition to her newfound fondness for edible arrangements, Sarah also says she would be excited to receive other formerly unwanted gifts like socks, underwear, or even a candle.
“Candles are so expensive and smell amazing,” she continued. “Please. Give me a candle! I’ll love it! Hell, regift me a candle you don’t want, and I’ll take it gladly.”
When it comes to gift-giving, Sarah is now encouraging her friends to go in a more stereotypical direction.
“Don’t be ashamed to go with the classics,” she continued. “I have a newfound appreciation for nice smelling body lotion or even a cool little bracelet.”
As of press time, Sarah had opened up the door on the morning of her 30th birthday to find her friends had all chipped in to send her an edible arrangement of fruit, cheese, and a little bit of chocolate. Sources confirm she immediately fell to her knees and burst into tears of joy.
