In an emotionally confusing story emerging from the back alleys of the internet, 26-year-old Indigo Baranza just placed a bid for an old dresser on Facebook Marketplace and is now embroiled in an interaction that is 20% about the furniture and 80% about the seller’s desire to be chased.
Indigo started the interaction with a quick, “Hey there! Is this item still available?”
After receiving no response from the seller, 62-year-old Elise Hyde, Indigo lightly followed up a day later, messaging Elise, “Just double checking – is this available? Would love to bid!”
Elise did respond to this message, which should have been a red flag to Indigo that this conversation would not be about the furniture at all, but rather about feeding Elise’s deep psychological desire to be sought after.
“It is,” Elise responded, punctuating the message with a period in a way that seemed kind of stern. “$60.”
Desperate not to scare her off, Indigo responded with extreme warmth.
“I would love to take it off your hands!” she wrote. “Would you be willing to part with it for $50? I really love it but am on a pretty strict budget.”
Following this message, two weeks passed without response. Elise “read” the message within a couple of hours, but she could not be convinced to respond. Indigo sent several follow-ups to no avail.
“It was then that I realized this wasn’t just about selling furniture,” Indigo told reporters gathered at the scene. “It was about playing into Elise’s fuckup up little mind game…her nefarious power trip. I needed to take a new approach.”
Indigo messaged again, this time playing the personal angle.
“Hey Elise!” she typed. “I know you probably have a lot going on right now, and I would love to hear about it, perhaps at your home while I am picking up this dresser.”
The bait was certainly strange, but it worked wonders. Elise returned to the bargaining table.
“It felt like beckoning a flighty dog back home with a treat,” Indigo told reporters. “Or dating an emotionally available man perhaps.”
Elise did not acknowledge any of Indigo’s other messages, instead opting to send a very curt, “$60 final price. Pick up at my house at 6am.” Elise also refused to confirm this once Elise agreed to pay the final price.
As of press time, Indigo is enjoying her beautiful new dresser but has decided she is not emotionally equipped to chase any more vendors on Facebook Marketplace.
“At least Ikea plays no games,” she said wistfully.
