As a parent, you want to do everything you can to make your kid feel proud of you, but the following is a story of one dad who’s taking it a bit too far: This dad on career day is telling his son’s class that he’s Ash from Pokémon’s lawyer to cover up the fact that he’s nothing but Ash’s live-in housekeeper.
Absolutely heartbreaking.
Third grader Benny Thomas hadn’t seen his dad in over a year, so the last thing he expected was for his father, Eric Thomas, to show up for Career Day. But halfway through Sienna’s mom’s presentation on being an environmental lawyer, Eric burst in the door, strode up to the front of the classroom, and said, “Who’s ready to Pokémon Go to court?” At that moment, a befuddled Benny said, “Dad?” to which Eric said, “Today it’s not ‘Dad.’ Today it’s ‘Mr. Ash Ketchum’s Esquire, Esquire, Attorney At Law.’”
Yikes. That would be only slightly cringeworthy if it were actually true—but Eric has no formal legal training, and has spent his time since his divorce working in Ash Ketchum’s home as a 24/7 maid. Though Eric’s barrister’s wig is impressive, the closest thing he has to legal credentials are the eight bitter months he spent divorcing Benny’s mom.
Eric continued on, explaining that Pokémon have many powers that pose grave dangers to society, thus making a live-in, round-the-clock lawyer an absolute essential for the average Pokémon trainer. He then highlighted several cases of great importance during which he’s represented Ash, such as Ohio v. Pikachu, Texas v. Pikachu, and Charizard v. Board of Education. As Eric looked to his son for approval, his son just shook his head quietly, indicating that he does, in fact, know that the main way his Dad helps Ash is not by suing Team Rocket for libel, but by cleaning up Ash’s spills and crumbs.
Just tragic.
It looks like Eric will have to do a lot better than lying to nine-year-olds about what it’s like red-lining documents for Ash Ketchum in order to win his son’s approval, because trying to claim that the feather duster sticking out of his bag is just evidence for the case he’s working on with Bulbasaur isn’t going to cut it. Better luck next time, Eric!
